husband doesn t want to go on family vacation
This. Other than me being bored out of my skull, nothing happened! Therapy is really personal, and a bad fit or burnt-out therapist can be worse than no therapist at all. I certainly didnt forget that, in case anybodys wondering. Answer (1 of 25): There could be a few reasons why a husband may not want to go out with his wife. Of course control issues are a possibility. I think that marriage counseling is the right way to go. They may not all work for you, but I hope that at least some will be helpful. If your husband is really giving you a choice between staying married to him and going on a business trip, the answer may be difficult to face, but hes giving you a clear choice: You can live your life on his terms, with the threat of divorce hanging over your head if you participate in public and professional life in a way that displeases him, or live your life on your terms. In a healthy marriage, there is no spouse v. spouse, and theres room for career, hobbies, friends, etc. My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me: 10 Reasons Why I thought I was the problem, and he was kind and honorable and funny and thoughtful. If you do this, he will *hate* it; I did, and so did my Mother, when I started doing this. I agree in principle, but I think its easy for certain couples with significant shared responsibilities to fall into the language of permission, and its not always a red flag. Hang up the phone, turn it off, walk out of the room, leave the house and walk the dog or go for a drive, stop and get yourself a meal out somewhere. I remember being like, What would I even DO with all this space? ha! Most of them. (And hes questioning the motives of the company in having the trip in the first place? Its a big deal, but its not the end of the world for either of you. Sure, but hes also clearly controlling and very manipulative. Should I take him into account? Ive actually been there and I agree its overplayed and that corporate concerns are more about flights and conference rooms but its weird to act like youve never heard this stereotype. This. Theres a limit to how much they can make if they limit themselves to those who want risqu and sleavy. Marriage CounselingDefinitely. I wish this would have been the first comment because it frames the issue perfectly. And its going to be a problem in your relationship whether you go on the trip or not. Its a constant negotiation and balancing act. For sure gamboling DOES occur in Vegas, same as gambling :). You dont deserve to be treated that way. Therapy, now, for both of you so that you can discuss this issue, and potentially solo therapy for him to address his issues. There was a recent one with the same problem! If your husband has never traveled for business, and hasnt traveled much in his personal life, and his friends have similar life experiences, then its no wonder that hes created this scenario where all that happens in Vegas is affairs and crimes. Uncategorized ; June 21, 2022 husband doesn t want to go on family vacation . We of course send the Im here texts and goodnight and such. Im wondering if hes ever been to Vegas? And I dont know whether I asked permission, exactly, to plan some activities on my own this weekend to decompress from a week of solo child care, but I did run it by her she was of course supportive, but sometimes with this kind of planning there are scheduling issues we have to work out. I understand where youre coming from, but this board sees people from all over the world, and there are still lots of places and lots of religious/cultural environments where patriarchal/masculine control/policing of womens behavior/assuming the worst of women is absolutely the norm, and there are enough of them scattered around everywhere that I dont think its a case of not everyone can have sandwiches.. So, OPs husband would be fine if she was going on a business trip to Dullsville or Normalville or even New York City, but because shes going to Vegas, specifically, he has an issue. And opportunities to cheat and people who will spike a strangers drink exist in every city. Well, they need to work on their relationship. Sogoahead and book that trip, and then make sure you spend asmuch time relaxing aspossible before your departure. Is she free to travel then? my boss told me not to give greeting cards to older men because it could seem sexual, my coworker's husband is texting me and blaming me for their divorce, https://captainawkward.com/2014/02/06/547-is-it-my-anxiety-or-is-my-relationship-dodgy-spoiler-holy-fuckshit-its-the-dodgiest/, https://www.askamanager.org/2017/03/my-employee-is-refusing-to-travel-because-her-husband-said-she-cant.html, my manager and coworker are secretly dating, boss will never give exceeds expectations because he has high standards, and more, update: I supervise a manager who falsified an employee write-up but I dont think she should be fired, stolen sandwiches, disgusting fridges, dish-washing drama: lets talk about office kitchen mayhem, interviewer scolded me for my outfit, job requires an oath of allegiance, and more, update: a DNA test revealed the CEO is my half brother and hes freaking out, my entry-level employee gave me a bunch of off-base criticism. I suppose OP knows her own husband best, theres a chance inviting him along would be an offer of Good Faith to show that theres really nothing all that bad about Sin City. We split it into 3 traveling days both directions so it would be 6 hours and we are estimating 8 hour days, but know it could be longer. I don't think it won't be that bad though. The number of dudes who felt the need to tell me how unsafe my backpacking around Europe with my best friend was was pretty high. Cuz he was awesome.). Should I never go anywhere? So, OP, if you take nothing else away from this comment chain, hopefully you at least get some calibration to your is-it-weird-o-meter. Yup, wholeheartedly agree. My associatons annual conference rotates between about six places, and even in big cities like Chicago and Philly we need to use three nearby hotels to have enough meeting rooms and hotel rooms. Ive gone to Vegas for work and my husband just told me to have a good time and made jokes about what kind of stuff I might get up to while I was there because we knew Id mostly be bored and cranky with the work situation. The reason companies go there is because theres big convention centers and lots of cheap flights. Whether anxiety is a contributing factor or not, thats all it is. For example, I dont gamble and drugs, etc have no appeal. This is none of his business and catering to his insecurities is not your responsibility. Dont try to rationally argue with him; much like a toddler, he isnt thinking rationally and it will get you nowhere. A great thing to consider would be inviting a few friends over on Friday night for Shabbat dinner. Im not a fan of Las Vegas (i.e., cigarette smoke, gambling, drinking), but many (perhaps all?) Unsurprisingly, this is a hard concept for controlling people to grasp; What do you mean, one person can unilaterally end a relationship with no input from the other person? No amount of marriage counseling will fix controlling. Ehhh, I actually dont see so much wrong with friends weighing in on aspects of ones relationship when a friend comes to me and says, This is something thats happening in my relationship, would you call that problematic? I definitely dont say, Its none of my business! I give them my read of the situation, just as they do for me. Same. Assuming you havent given him real cause for those worries (like a history of cheating), this is insulting to you and awful for the health of your relationship. Except he took a poll of his mom. I went to Vegas for an academic conference once and it was soooo super tame. During the first trip I spent most of my time during the day sight-seeing by myself (or with tour groups) while my wife attended her conference and later meeting her and friends for dinner and evening events. Mmm.. I wasnt allowed to take late classes in school bc good girls dont stay out after dark. going together would send the message that its an us issue. And voila- you're on the coast! Its also fascinating, because it makes me wonder about his friends. Unless theyre all really churchy (and the OP didnt say), if any of my previous partners said that, Id give it massive side-eye. Thats what I was thinking. Just on the wholesomeness scale, it tries way harder to be cool older brother than, say, Omaha or Iowa City. either. July 1, 2022 Posted by clients prepaid financial services derbyshire; 01 . Interestingly, prostitution is a county-by-county decision in Nevada. This is not helpful to the conversation, but seeing posts like this always remind me of a relationship I got out of many years ago (just 3 months before our wedding date!) In addition to marriage counseling, he or both may want to consider individual counseling as well. I think some boundaries are needed here. Best of luck to you. Dont get in a bike accident! Your husband going on vacation without you is normal. Kidnappings, someone spiking your drink, etc. Right. Main Menu Vegas strip is basically just that a massive neon strip mall with lots of people. I also am a pretty straight laced married woman whos been in the same committed relationship for two decades and most of those trips were without my partner. My in-laws (who I no longer speak to) freaked out when my wife and I got our current apartment because they found out it was across the street from the best Mexican restaurant in our city. Another option is to share infowhen you get there take a picture of where you are stayingshow the agenda, let him know what you are doing, check in at the end of the night. Clearly it was a biased survey either way, but Im just very curious :P. I can totally see it being true assuming his friends were not also her friends and therefore only ever got his side of the story on anything, so of course they believe him and think shes in the wrong. Since I took the position five years ago, they have sent management on a three-day business trip each year. Your argument is based on extremes. And he needs to understand that his fears are his to manage, no matter where they are coming from. Refusing to go on this trip is highly unlikely to save your marriage. (As a sidenote: my mom has been able to do with with my dad a few times when her travel schedule gets crazy. Thats the weirdest part of it to me! Fiance also didnt want me to go to an industry event because admission was closed to non-members; he couldnt just drop by to say hello, and how would he know if I was okay? Except I divorced mine. Your husband is being insecure (at best!). You know, because theyd been there for the last year and had witnessed all of it and hadnt just heard his side of the story through his rose-tinted glasses. Its a lot less horrendous than deglove, whats the issue? ), but accommodating him a bit on that is reasonable, in my book and most importantly, has zero to do with his feeling ownership of me or thinking his wishes trump my work demands, and more to do with just wanting to be sure Im safe. I know its forbidden to comment on typos, but the gamboling is perfect! Your level of trust in him.
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